Child of Jashin
by ES Doltless
Summary: Sometimes our destinies are much stranger than we thought. Self insert, OC-centered.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Child of Jashin

Summary: Sometimes our destinies are much stranger than we thought. Self insert, OC-centered.

Author's notes: Inspired by Three Tails by insertxcoolxnamexhere and from what I originally thought when I started reading 'self insert' stories.

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Chapter 1

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"'Hiyo brat!" greeted Tori-sensei.

"Ohayou, sensei." I groaned drolly, plodding along the mud-buried paving stones towards her.

It was particularly cold and wet this time of year in Kirigakure. We were at the lake we usually trained at during summer, but she felt the need to give me hypothermia before the day was through. Every day I mourn having access to boots.

Sensei greeting me with her trademark infuriating, shit-eating grin added to the mood. She'd picked me up after graduation and specifically wanted me with her. I met her before I graduated after an odd set of coincidences, and she'd since shown up intermittently in my life. I've been apprenticed to her for several months now but at the time – and even now – I'm pretty mediocre, frankly put for lack of trying. I haven't got much interest in getting Yagura's attention, and thus Obito slash 'Madara', so I usually dabble with fuinjutsu when I feel like it. Besides, I may have been brought into this dimension willingly, but I doubt that I'd actually see people working out all day just because there's no internet.

A little background on Tori-sensei: she has black hair, hazel eyes that are very heavily green, obsessively wears a lot of makeup, and she's a bitch. Nah, she's not really any more. But it took a good year or so of constant annoying her first to get her to loosen up a little. But seriously, I still genuinely can't see any reason why she picked me – even if she knew that I was a dimension traveller. Or at least I didn't _think_ that I show potential in this role - but Yagura probably has his reasons.

Anyway, I don't think I've seen Tori wear anything but her standard issue grey Hunter-nin chest plate, black trousers and smaller-than-normal pauldrons - shoulder pads. Oh and usually a ponytail. I understand her wanting to wear black for stealth, though I remember that ninja back on Earth picked navy blue instead to blend in. I could imagine that black would just create a silhouette. Looks cool though.

"How's my favourite little munchkin?"

I growled dramatically, though Tori noticed that I wasn't putting much effort into it.

"… The boot thing?"

"Yup," I said, punctuating the 'p'. "It just sucks. Rubber trees grow in 'the country of Fire', and the whole monopoly the merchants – pirates – have on Kiri stock." _'Unless Yagura's stockpiling this stuff..'_

"Hey. Next time we're on mission I'll pick you up some, how about that?"

I grinned, "Yeah, like that time you were going to pick me up a hook sword, but then _you didn't_."

She grinned back, returning the jab. "Yeah, like that time you delivered on a mission." She pursed her lips, "Hasn't happened."

"Say sensei," I started, "I'll give you my wages for the next week if we bring ' _the Nenchū'_ along. We could form a mini squad? _Forget the whole hunter-nin thing_." I mumbled offhandedly. I fingered the edge of my Kiri hunter-nin-specific kunai – called a 'Sai' here. It was a funny day when I realised that those special kunai that Zabusa had in the series were probably from pilfering dead hunter-nin. I wasn't filled with confidence about the kind of missions they would send me on.

She levelled me a withering stare, "You know why we can't take out Takamura-san out. Besides," She added lower, "I doubt that we'd even be allowed to leave our job." She lifted her hunter-nin mask from her belt and attached it to her face. "Now c'mon, we have a new mission," she added, turning around and walking towards the village exit.

I shrugged and followed along, putting on my mask. I'd been probing her to see how likely it was to swing her into bringing my clan friend on board. I had the impression that, unlike a few of the hunter-nin corps, she didn't hate bloodline users. But something was definitely stopping her from bringing him on it with us. Probably Yagura. Whenever I'd ask she'd shoot me down with something like 'the clans take care of their own', and outright trying to make me his _rival_ , but I really wanted company and 'wetworks' missions sucked. They were tolerable, but not enjoyable. The only thing I could really say that was nice was the solitude. Anyway, I'd prod her some more when we were out of the village.

I spotted the 3-strong 'watch squad' coming up while we approached. Normally hunter-nin go through a period where they're evaluated, but it's been 6 months and they're still tagging along. It doesn't _really_ surprise me with what I remember of the story's description of Kiri, but I'm biased. Even if it was just because Tori is a strong jonin-level ninja, it's still overkill.

They came in early to join us - for their own drills and the like. However, they didn't seem to be making any indication of moving so Tori asked what's going on. After parsing through all their gruff sneering I gathered that the ferry that we were taking to get there was going to be delayed a couple hours, so we'll head off a bit later instead. _Fine by me. Less time around loyalists, the better._

"Brat, I'm going to run some errands. Meet me at the diner in 15," she said lowly before quickly disappearing from sight.

I let my feet wander. Right now my friends in the village were mostly busy, and I had a feeling that Magoichi wouldn't appreciate me annoying him during shop hours.

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I zipped through the alleys and narrowly passed some orphan street rat whose head locked onto my mask, which I pulled back off further down. I was feeling pretty hungry, so I made note to avoid most of the restaurant areas. Seeing a reflection, I spotted myself in the dirty window of the alleys side café. _'Even in two lives I still have horrible bed hair,'_ I thought, catching sight of my _dishevelled_ _locks_. I kicked a cardboard box away from the wall to get a better view and smushed it back down.

I peered back at my face. It _was_ foreign, but it'd grown on me a bit over the years. I might've resembled my old self, but with more defined features. I had tanned skin, my brown eyes and black hair but in general my new look had a little to be desired. I looked a lot like a runt. I mean, it didn't help at the Academy with the students that obviously wanted to be the next person wielding Zabusa's Kubikiribōchō… but you make do. I'd also lost some height and was more average, but it was water under the bridge by now.

I mulled. At the moment my main goal is to establish my own base somewhere. While I like my ramshackle house, it is not protected from ninja. I want somewhere that I can feel safe, without needing Tori – who is hopefully not here because of Yagura – with me. Maybe I could sway Tori? I am only just one kid and that takes a lot of resources. How big of a problem _is_ the village?

I heard some clattering from inside and looked down. The cardboard box was filled with dry noodles that were now scattered all across the dirty stone floor. I winced and started jogging.

'… _Jeez. This chef would've killed me if that café didn't have a solid curtain.'_

I jolted suddenly. "Hey," whispered a voice in my ear.

Sensei appeared in my field of view and started dragging me forward with her hand on my shoulder. "Ehh.. I'll give you a 5/10 on reactions. You tensed at least."

I breathed in. "Hey! Aren't you early anyway?"

She coughed and continued, "Come on, we're going to eat instead at one of my favourite seedy bars."

"Why?" I tilted my head.

Instead of answering, she beamed at me and continued dragging me along.

 _'… Let's just get this over with..'_

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"Welcome to Taiki Yakimono. What would you like to order?" chirped the waitress with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Takoyaki please," I requested. Seafood had become a regularity because of our relatively small island, and I'd made a few new favourites since my dimensional displacement.

"Yakizakana for me, thanks Megumi." Tori added, closing her menu. "-No drinks."

"Thanks for your order. It'll be ready soon," Megumi - the waitress - lightly bowed and left to the kitchen.

Tori sat across from me while I observed my surroundings. While we weren't at _the_ _window seat_ , it was still a pretty popular restaurant amongst civilians. _What are we doing here?_ I wondered.

I commented sarcastically, "Sweet 'seedy' digs."

Tori rolled her eyes and cleared her throat. "I wasn't kidding about the serious thing." She pursed her lips, "I chose here because people _look_ in seedy bars for that kind of stuff. I was going to say something important that would be dangerous if overheard. I put up a little genjutsu."

" _It probably doesn't hurt that you were hungry,"_ I mumbled. "Why didn't you just pick your apartment?"

"It would look more suspicious." This prompted me to give her a disbelieving look.

The black-haired makeup-obsessive shrugged. "Okay, I didn't really think of it. Also – hum." She mumbled tardily, "… Nevermind. We've been teacher and student for long enough. We're here now though."

"Okay, okay," she took a moment to visibly collect herself. "So, I was hoping that the probationary period on us was going to end soon, but it seems that one of the advisors to Yagura has it out for me. I think you will agree with me on this, but what I wanted to say is that... we need to leave Kirigakure," she intoned, punctuating the phrase by looking sharply into my eyes. "I can see that you think that it's going in a bad direction - and don't think that I can't see you trying to bring your bloodlined friend along. I don't fault you either."

Rather than letting me reply as my hackles rose, she plodded on. "-No, this is not a trap," she glowered. "If I wanted to I think I'd devise something a damn slight better."

She gave me a moment and exhaled lightly before continuing, "Nevertheless.. Do you want to?"

Internally I was pretty elated, but I had an innate sense of wariness about the whole thing. In the end I chose to trust my instincts and nodded back to her.

"Good then," she gave a small smile.

Tori then opened her mouth, "-Also, that whole shit about 'I'd give my wages for a week?' Psh, you're genin. That might cover _breakfast_." She gave me a grin that clearly spoke 'I-enjoy-your-pain'.

I resisted the innate temptation to shoot a look at her and closed my eyes. _'This could actually work… Finally, after all that time planning there's at least some feasible way of doing this. Fuck yeah. Live free, bitches.'_

She dragged me out of my musings, "Brat, I'd like to introduce you to my friend. She has a bloodline from the Leaf, and she'll help me genjutsu the team so that we can prepare instead of doing another dumb tracking job for some undeserving sap." She cleared her throat, "'Deal is that I'm going to head towards Fire Country and scout out Konoha." She'd turned into a nonchalant posture by resting her chin on her palm while I'd been zoned out.

Bloodline for genjutsu for the leaf? _'Was that what she meant? It didn't really fit any other way.'_

"Do you mean... Kurama, or Uchiha?" I asked.

Her eyebrows raised. "Well."

She looked like she wanted to start a sentence but scrapped it and then asked, "... Do you know where-no, actually. How did you learn that?"

I shrugged, "I heard people talking about it in the corps building," referring to the hunter-nin academy.

She levelled me with a thoroughly disbelieving look, "Uh huh. _Kurama._ " She then slid her arms flat onto the table and held herself in position, seeming to be mulling over something.

She leaned her upper body forward with her arms folded on the table, looking me firmly in the eyes. She spoke conversationally, "Kabuto."

My eyes widened, and that seemed like all the cue that she needed.

"Hahaha!" She cawed loudly, laughing erratically. "Of course. Of course! Of all people. Kami-damn."

Blame it on living 13 or so years in _Naruto_ and all but I was befuddled. "What are you on about?"

She finished laughing and let a wide, knowing smile slip across her face. "C'mon, piece it together gramps. You know, that'd certainly explain all your ticks," she added with her big shit-eating grin. "Also – how the hell did you keep this from me? Are you seriously telling me that we never spoke about Konoha before? What the hell?" Something about how she was looking at me just made it extremely apparent that she was what I thought she was.

The realization hit me, "What!? How the hell were _you_ one!?" I exclaimed in a low voice. "And I was 20! Such a bitch."

"Were you hiding it?" She asked with open curiosity.

I looked at her incredulously, "Of course I was! Why did you pick _me_? I didn't want to give anything away!"

Tori put both of her hands on her face. "Stupid, stupid stupid."

I waited for her to finish, but she didn't after a good ten seconds.

"... Should we forget that that ever happened?" As much as I enjoyed soaking in her pain, and I definitely did, the conversation had to go on.

She quickly looked up and adjusted her posture, "Yeah right. Anyway, I'll tell you about what you were asking earlier – about Takamura - later." She mumbled, "… How the hell did I not notice this!?"

"Haha. I should actually tell you about the first time I met a 'self insert'," I started, which only seemed to make her feel worse but gave me a sweeping feeling of victory at her ineptitude.

"C'mon, I think this needs to be held in my apartment," she said, dragging the bill plate over and glancing at the clock. "We haven't got a long time until the mission, and I _was_ planning to talk about it." There weren't any computers or card readers, so we usually paid by adding it up and putting it on the plate. Normally in restaurants they'd be checked by whoever was serving.

I raised both my arms in an 'I surrender' pose, "Sure, sure." I went to pay my ryō and Tori gave me a chastising look before covering both of us.

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I looked around. It was a lot cleaner than I expected for her. Practically sterile in the kitchen – which I really didn't know what to make of since she murdered for a living. It was small though, and she'd made a point of making me wait for a few minutes while she cleared it up before allowing me in. Paranoid jounin, I swear.

She walked me into her living room with a small kotatsu table and gestured for me to sit. Before wandering off into the kitchen immediately, "I'm going to get tea."

"—Try not to poison me," I snarked to her retreating form.

Sitting down to the kotatsu, I leaned on the low table and rested my head onto my palm. I needed to start formulating action plans. _'Man... At least this solves my Jashin problem.'_

...

A memory came up through my subconscious.

 _A Shinto temple covered in vines. Surrounded by aged and broken statues. Dead skeletons trapped in foliage and very little light that could possibly reach into the humid jungle forest. 'West. Land of Hot Water.'_

I had a sudden migraine and raised my hand to press against my forehead.

' _Ugh, this again. It was obviously Jashin's work, if I could tell anything._ _What I assumed was that it amounted to 'Kid, you better figure something out because it's going to be time soon.' I was going to try and convince Tori to help me travel to the place somehow, but this was a godsend in hindsight. I hadn't thought about it in ages. Almost… suspiciously so, Neji and your 'fate','_ I thought, before reassessing, _'Nah, it was my subconscious.'_

"Hey. Gunpowder flavour-oh, do you want chamomile?" Tori said while returning from the kitchen with the china teakettle and cups

"I got a sudden headache." I waved my free hand, "I'm ok."

I anticipated her not believing me, so I preemptively tacked on, "I'm not Itachi."

"Ha ha, very funny brat." Tori paused. "Okay, have the gunpowder tea then." She said, pouring me some.

"You know, for someone who's so cold to strangers, you're awfully motherly."

She shushed me and seated herself. "It's not like your mother would anyway."

I put my hands onto the tea to bring up to sip. "Fair 'nuff. So what was the whole thing about Takamura anyway?"

"I don't really want to attract the attention from Yagura."

" _I mean…_ There _are_ other people in our division with bloodlines.." I trailed off.

Tori hummed. "So.. Are you really okay with the Konoha thing?"

I jerked back, "Oh yeah! Shoot. I was thrown off. Isn't that really dangerous?" Amidst this I'd completely forgotten about her actually _going to Konoha._ "No, actually – _why_ are you going to Konoha?"

She smiled lightly, "I was originally going to tell you something else but it's to meet other people from where we were from. I've been doing it for a while." Before I could speak up an idea struck her, "Oh! _Oh_ ," she said flatly, "Well this is going to suck."

"What's up?"

"I just realised that if _you're_ a self insert, Yuki is going to demand that you come with me," she spoke through a one-handed facepalm. Her other hand refused to leave her tea.

I leaned forward and waited for the other shoe to drop. "Yes..?"

"No. You are definitely coming with me. Yuki would rather bring you out of genjutsu rather than bring you along and hide you somewhere safe."

".. You're kidding me." I spoke up, fairly disconcerted. "I'm a genin. It's not a very smart idea, going to Konoha."

"Honestly, it's fine. It's safer than the alternative, which was putting you somewhere – without my company – without you knowing why you were there. Besides, I've been doing it for – what? 8 years now? Relax. Me and Yuki are experienced jounin."

"Yuki?" I prompted. ' _I swear Tori needs to learn explain things properly.'_

"Yukiko. She's my friend. I think I'll keep some of the mystery about her until you meet her, because you almost certainly will. I also just realised that with the squad there I might have to teach you or check your genjutsu skills in the meantime."

"I almost want to make a joke out of the _'oh, looks like I'll have to teach you'_ thing," I said as a throwaway response while I came up with possible thoughts. Nothing came to mind honestly. I know that she'd tell me the course of action on the mission, and I didn't want to worry about it and throw off my performance.

"So Konoha. A milk run," I said skeptically.

"No, seriously. Oh yeah, you wouldn't know. It's just like the first series. Remember how Konoha was infiltrated like a thousand times? I've been doing it for a decade and I can guarantee that you are fine. I mean… I don't really _like_ bringing you, but it's kind of necessary. Especially if you, my cute apprentice, are going to leave Kiri with me anyway."

I squinted at her. "You're going _in_ to Konoha then? I'm assuming that I'm not going in there. You're certain about this?"

She nodded and gave a pleasant smile, "Positive."

We sat peacefully and shot the shit for the next hour. She laid out some plans for the mission with me and we ran through the couple of rudimentary genjutsus that I knew, and the one that she'd taught me at the lake. Once that was over, we started trading stories. It was times like this where I was lucky enough that my sensei wasn't a bloodthirsty sociopath, which is probably quite often in this place.

"So what was that whole thing about meeting a self insert before?"

"Oh yeah, so the first time I met a _'self insert'_." I mulled over whether I should tell her his name before deciding, "There's a guy called Magoichi who runs a lesser-known shop for odds and ends. At this point I was bored out of my mind and I'd given up on being paranoid about being detected for knowing English, so I just started singing every once in a while. He tried to discreetly close the shop and took me aside to talk about how _dangerous_ I'd been and such. It was great though," I voiced a random thought, "Maybe I should paint my hunter-nin mask to look like Tobi."

"That's not even funny," she chastised. "I haven't heard of Magoichi, but I rarely spend time actually lurking around Kiri. I probably should, but it doesn't go with what the officials think that I'm like." Tori pushed her lip into the side of her cheek. "He was right though."

I didn't want to get Tori too worried about me so I looked around instead at the room, "I can't really believe this is the first time you brought me here."

She gave me a look that I couldn't really place. "If I managed to miss that _you_ were a self insert then I probably ought to start fixing things like this," She gestured at us both. "I think it's time to depart."

"Gimme a minute," I spoke up as she stood up. We'd been sitting there for an hour and a half.

"Come on, Uteki," she spoke, walking toward the door. "She probably won't appreciate being held up."

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Author's notes: I spent a while planning this out, and it was good for sorting out ideas though I've gotten mostly being precocious about things, so it's high time to get started.

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I affiliated with the creation of Naruto in any way, shape, or form. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto.

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	2. Chapter 2

Title: Child of Jashin

Summary: Sometimes our destinies are much stranger than we thought. Self insert, OC-centered.

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Chapter 2

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We made our way out the village and made way for the boats. I tuned out all the mossy cliffs around us while we plodded and gathered my bearings. It's probably not safe but it's what all soldiers do to some extent. Staying continually 'on' for a 3 week mission would drain most people.

Tori had laid out some plans for the mission with me. They took away a lot of tension, though I was still infiltrating Fire Country. I'd be more concerned without those plans, especially since a lot of them were 'suppress your chakra', though the moment I felt okay despite the glaring situation. I did a quick recap to test my memory of the story – like if Konoha was doing anything _crazy_ when Naruto was 11.

 _'Let's see… Danzō Shimura only appeared in Shippuden, but there's not a lot that I can do about him. To be honest, I probably wouldn't feel safe going to Konoha until when they have 'no kage after the Chunin exams', but let's hope that Hiruzen has gone senile in his old age.'_

I sighed, _'Guh. Yeah… I am not prepared. What happens after Zabusa and the Chunin exams? Ignoring all the Sasuke stuff, Orochimaru probably wouldn't be interested in me for bloodlines. I hope that Jiraiya or ANBU aren't very good at covering where we'll be. Man, even Kakashi is in ANBU at this point. Is there any hope?'_

I thought about it. Really, if chakra is as hard to detect as Tori is saying, then my main concern is the sharingan. If it's true, this mission is not as unlikely. _'If Kakashi is on the inside at the moment or somewhere else, Danzo isn't looking directly at me – which he won't be, thankfully - and no crazy kage-level ninja can detect my chakra somehow, it is possible. As long as Tori hides me somewhere good.'_

I made a quick reminder to myself that if I was caught to defect to Konoha. _'God I hope I don't though. I like the main characters, but I also like 'freedom'. No jinxing it. Seriously, I will kill Amaterasu otherwise. S-'_

Tori snapped her fingers in front of my face and I reeled back.

I relaxed and looked back at her. "I get the gesture. Okay."

" _Good._ I could've placed a trap right over there," she gestured 20 feet away. "And you would've walked into it."

"Ha ha. Seriously though, do you think you can cover me for 5 minutes while I think about things?"

"Brat. Fine," she said. She didn't usually give me the leeway, so this was nice.

As for remembering the rest of the story… _'Right, so Shippuden was pretty much listing who the Akatsuki were and adding Danzo, Kabuto and the real Madara into the series. Kabuto isn't really a worry, oh and neither are the other villages. So game plan is pretty much to avoid ANBU and fake-ANBU. Obito, Itachi, Zetsu and Sasori – Akatsuki - don't care. That's fine. Let's see this place and hopefully not come back until I can deal with it. Ugh, please don't put in the ripple effect and give Sasuke the mangekyo or something.'_

I glanced back to Tori.

She was never this chatty back when I met her, but it still took a _lot_ of whittling down. _'She's what I imagine 'Anko' would be like. Though for all that, she's still kind of innocent. I still remember her face when I gave her the 'You've been distant since the sexual harassment' card.'_

Once we arrived I got a good look at our transport to the main continent shored up at the docks.

It was a decent-sized ferry with 2 basic floors, but the make of it was astonishing and must have set the Mizukage back _a lot_. I couldn't imagine seeing that kind of thing anywhere else. Perhaps Yagura was trying to curry favour with Tori-sensei? I have some doubt that it's hunter-nin and ANBU-exclusive transport but who knows. It kind of reeks of class difference, and I'm consciously ignoring that so I can enjoy it while it lasts.

Tori double-palmed her face and groaned. She held it there as she stood still before uttering, " _Ohhh._ Of course." When she turned upwards I gave her a questioning look but she waved me off. Eh.

We moved onto the deck where she procured her bingo book and began reading from it. She leaned against the railing and I followed suit.

" _Ex-ANBU Kajika, B-rank upon defection. Designation: 'Torrent_ '", she recited drolly, mumbling. _"Teammates Iwana (p53) and Yamane (p102) - presumed deceased. Affiliation: Kirigakure, missing-nin. Last spotted – Murakami Town, Land of Water. Known techniques.."_ At this point she began to trail off, so I picked up the slack.

"... You want to hunt this guy?" I folded my arms and tilted my head towards her. That seemed to snap her out of her daze.

She looked back to the back of the boat. "Hm? Oh, no. I was just bored, " she said. A beat later she caught my eye and nodded her head towards 2 conversing hunter-nin leaning on the back of the deck, "Hey, look."

I couldn't tell at first, but after careful looking I noticed that the guys at the back were in a daze. They weren't responding to anything, and I could see them swaying a bit on their feet.

"Genjutsu," she murmured towards me. "It'll make them seasick for a while when I stop feeding it chakra but they're too out of sorts now." She paused so that I'd face her and she put away the ninja-catalogue and took off her mask, so I followed suit. She exhaled softly and then spoke normally, "Sorry for not mentioning this part. It honestly slipped my mind."

I looked around at the boat and gestured. "Why? Wouldn't that raise suspicion?"

"I needed to test these guys to see if they're any good at it. They'll be more suspicious, but that went well. The genjutsu's main effect is nausea, so I'm hoping that they'll be too distracted by it to notice." She took a moment to glance at the victims and back to me, "Yuki can handle it," she added firmly.

"You could've included this in the plan you know..."

"You heard the term, _'thems the breaks'_?" She asked, which made me give her a dry look.

"Anyway," she continued, "Just to go over what we're doing – when we get there I'll see if I can talk first and then we can introduce some overkill. Hideki-san over there was a little bit harder than Yoroi, so watch out for him."

I looked around the boat and reassessed the 3 watching chunin.

One was the aforementioned Hideki. Definitely most experienced, and hung back behind the others, unless needed otherwise. He wasn't an outspoken loyalist. Apart from his height, I could only really particularly identify him by his red swirl mask and vaguely Konoha-esque chunin flak jacket. The others were called 'Yoroi' and 'Kichiro' I think. I really didn't care honestly. Red mask mostly with white text, and blue mask with some animal marking.

I didn't want to have to _kill them_ , but it may be needed later if I want to leave Kiri. Just because they're antagonistic doesn't mean that they're not just normal guys who were on Yagura's payroll trying to make ends meet. Though in the end I chose the career, so I don't really have the right to take the moral high ground on this. _If there's no other choice..._

I nodded back to her, "Should I fake nausea?"

"Good idea," she added, letting her genjutsu die down. I crossed my fingers that they attributed it to seasickness, while Tori didn't seem even mildly visibly worried. Not that they would've noticed it anyway with the masks. Speaking of, I followed her cue to put mine back on.

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We arrived on the shore without problems and began skipping across the Land of Hills to a place on the outskirts of Fire Country. The plan was apparently to meet at a destination where it broke into Fire, where instead of plodding along our route her friend, with _a_ bloodline of some kind, would genjutsu the team and we'd head up past some place called Shimogo and toward Konohagakure, or Konoha. The worst part was that I was unable to explicitly ask about it at length in case the hunter-nin trailing us _did_ actually pick up on what we were saying.

That didn't stop me from talking around it though.

I had a sudden random thought. "So why do the advisors to Yagura have it out for you?"

She gave me an incredulous look that communicated, 'Really, now?'

I sent her a sheepish look in reply and kept jumping. _'Yeah… Probably not a good time to risk getting the people trailing us suspicious.'_

I had a sudden urge to think about my time here growing up.

Like the realisation that _'Oh hey, I'm in the same village that Zabusa was from!'_ and the _'Oh. I'm in the same village Zabusa was from. Hunter-ninja ANBU, a jinchuriki Kage being controlled by the series bad guy, and whatever fun stuff left for me.'_ I was _genuinely_ okay with the whole 'you must be strong individually' aspect of Kiri though. I always thought that the whole teamwork promotion aspect of Naruto was a bit of a farce because the main three (four?) characters weren't a functioning team...

... But I always worked with Tori though. _Hum. That's actually pretty odd_. That might contribute to the whole bloodline _thing_. She'd told me that she was going to become my sensei halfway through the final Academy year, and that would explain it a bit.

"What's on your mind? I can tell that you want to ask something," Tori spoke while keeping her focus forward.

 _'Well..'_ I lowered my voice for safety, "Were you planning to go? I mean, way back then?" I tilted my gaze at her. "I mean, originally when you were turning down Takamura even before graduation."

Tori looked into the distance for a long second. She turned back to me, "Yup. _Smart kid_. I don't plan on sticking around." She paused, "Now shup and learn to tree jump faster."

"Blame me for not having enough trees back in Kiri to mess around with."

She groaned to herself as we jumped, "Buh. You're such a dick, you'know. _We could've done training!"_

I smiled while looking to what branches to jump to next. I had a sense of purpose. Not being part of Kiri? I mean, I had a whole host of memories associated with the place. Still, having an out – albeit risky as hell – was a huge relief. I hadn't had a solution and was planning on escaping with the rebels. Having a high ranked jonin coming along for the ride took an unconscious burden off of my shoulders. I still felt for my friends, and to a lesser extent my carer at home, but I decided to compartmentalise it for after the mission.

Taking a quick glance, I noticed that the trees were starting to become more like what I can remember of Konoha's lush green colours, and less like... dry pine.

After a brief lull, her head suddenly jerked up. "Heads up, it's her."

"How can you tell?" I tilted my head inquisitively.

"Water-based sensing technique. I'm not very good at it though," she replied. "We should pick up the pace so we – or I - can hit them at once." With that, we double-paced ahead from our 'guards' through the trees.

A beat later she continued, "Actually, for that matter – I'm not from Kiri. I used to be from…" I could almost envisage her raising her thumb to her chin, "somewhere else."

I groaned in reply and she complied, "Alright fine, Konoha. There was a self insert group several years back for Konoha, and we disbanded because of the Uchiha massacre."

"Why would you disband because of the massacre?" I asked. _Really, the only thing that comes to mind would be Danzo or some other arbitrary plot antagonist._

"The leader and another guy died. Also, we were called the Sanada Braves."

It took me a second but I let out a 'pssht' noise with my mouth. It was pretty funny.

She smirked. "Thought you'd get it. You remind me of the leader. Anyway, here we are."

We landed in a very small clearing in-front of a brown haired, black-eyed woman breathing a sigh of relief. She looked... normal. She wore a chunin vest for Konoha, no headplate. Average height, no sharp assessing glances – that I noticed – and a relatively open posture. Her hair was tied back in a little hairband a smidge different to Toris. She looked around late 20s, reaching 30.

"Tori!" She grinned - before being promptly shushed by said person. "Alright, alright. Sheesh." She turned her grin to me. "If you know any genjutsu, it'd be handy," she spoke while her eyes flashed to a sharingan and looked toward where our guards were coming up from.

' _Neat.'_ I shrugged to her in her peripheral vision. I knew a couple taught to hunter-nin. It's true that most techniques are horded by ANBU but what can you do. Tori meanwhile was laying down hand-signs presumably for some area-based genjutsu. She spoke out, "Don't use water techniques, as they might see it coming."

 _'Yeah, like risking genjutsu on the boat when you have a sharingan user,'_ I mentally added. I cast a basic low-rank rock camouflage technique on us - the one Tori taught me out the village - and left the brown-haired woman to focus on the people coming in.

The group followed back in and landed in front of us. The head guy, Hideki, landed and squinted as the other two touched ground. He spoke up, "What-"

At an unspoken cue, the two people at the back went limp immediately and the leader stood rigidly.

"Done," the sharingan-wielding woman spoke from a few trees to my left.

Tori spoke up, "Me too. Can you sharingan the other two also?" She paused before tacking on, "My basic idea is to make them wait in Otafuku-Gai or somewhere nearby and then meet up in... About a week?"

The woman cradled her chin with her hand before slowly nodding. "Yeah, that works. I'll make them trail and hide themselves when we leave." She clapped her hands, "So! This is the kid that you're mentoring?"

I raised my eyebrows. _'Huh.'_

"Yup," Tori smirked, before she dove into a quick introduction, "Brat, this is Yukiko. Yukiko, meet brat – otherwise known as Uteki," she gestured with her arm. "Oh, and he's a self insert _apparently_ ," which brought a look of surprise from Yukiko, who then bounced in excitement.

"That's perfect!" the now-identified Yukiko exclaimed. She shot me a quick glance before returning to grin at Tori, "Looks wimpy," She affirmed, likely to herself.

I groaned and turned to my sensei, "You've been telling stories about me?"

She returned my look sharply in faux-irritation, "And you haven't told me about being a self insert!?" She grumbled into the woods, "I'm an idiot."

"Don't get too down, it's only been a few months sensei."

I smirked and continued, "How long's it been... 7 months? Lemme see... Isn't that longer than Sasuke was a genin of Konoha?"

Yukiko laughed and took the cue to pick up the conversation, "By the way, did Tori tell you why she's in Kiri?"

Tori glared at the brown-haired woman, "No," She turned to the group, "Maybe later – don't hold your breath."

Yukiko pouted and strode on, "Okay, okay, but still - Uteki, you ought to be stronger. Tori-nee's family, and you're important to her. And an Earth-dweller," she added.

I paused and 'hm'd at her. "... Would that mean that I should call you oba-chan?"

Fortunately, that left the brown haired civilian-looking woman aghast.

"Yeah.. I don't really need to train.." I trailed off. I continued at seeing a lack of reply. "... But seriously, why? I'm honestly not getting started if I'm just going to be used by Yagura." I mean _I know_ strength is important...

Tori's head bopped back a bit and gave me a look, much more firm in resolution, "Of course not."

 _'Damn. Work is coming.'_

I tacked on belatedly, "I'm not slogging my ass off though. I really am this lazy."

.

* * *

.

After checking that they were sufficiently nullified, we took off at a brisk pace into the trees as the brown-haired woman launched into conversation, "Oh! Did you know that there was an episode set in a village of genjutsu-trees and apparently strong smells can break genjutsu?"

Yukiko, obviously experienced and not putting any attention as to where she was jumping, focused her attention on me. I sent a questioning glance back at the group behind us.

"Oh them? After what I did to Yagura that was a breeze. Though Yagura himself was _okay_ , getting there was hard." She paused, "I wonder if he was easy because of his bijuu."

After the moment it took me to process that I gaped. "What!?" I turned my gaze to Tori, who was jumping between trees on my right.

She was smirking tightly before she burst into a full self-satisfied grin. "Well? How else do you think we got these missions? Actually, how else do you think I got into Mist in the first place?"

Yukiko, grinning cheekily also tacked on, "Yup. The ol' 'I was in a Kiri version of ROOT'." She quickly realised what I was referring to earlier and glanced at me, "Oh right, yeah. They might trail behind and follow after us shortly for sake of the cover. That or just stay there in a trance, you never know," she winked.

 _'Being from a PMC group like Danzos.. Actually seems like a pretty good 'in'. There's not really a way to prove or disprove it. And I doubt ROOT 'pointed at their tongues.''_

I mused out loud, "It could work. Is that what you told the advisors?"

Tori chimed in, "For what good it did us. We wouldn't have had to deal with _them_ ," nodding her head toward the group, "if it worked, but then again who could predict how paranoid those people can be."

We went into a lull for a bit before I picked back up the conversation, "Oh - actually, what was it like back in the group? Sanada Braves?"

Tori let out a low whistle, "Well, you'd have to first explain the scenario -"

The sharingan-wielding brunette took over, "-Yeah. Back in the 3rd war there were all sorts of people – there were these two ex-orphans from Ame, one even knew Konan. There were a lot of people like me, who didn't come from villages. A lot of us trained solo or together and we became pretty wary of being found. So I was lucky that I stumbled into a bunch that'd formed a group." She added on belatedly, "Oh yeah, I should speak for living outside of the villages. It's not as dog-eat-dog as most people seem to believe, but we had a _lot_ of civilians and it was hard finding other ninja. Besides, most of us in the Braves didn't have big bounties anyways."

"Lot of civilians?"

"As in, you need ninja to be viable, as chakra works for everything and to be honest you probably end up making a living from civilians that don't have ninja guards." She waved her free hand in a kind of 'you know' motion.

 _'Stealing.'_ I mock-gasped, "But what about your ninja way?"

Yukiko smiled, "You'd be surprised the amount of people that live by that."

.

* * *

.

We arrived on a cliff around midday. It'd been a solid 3 days travel, and then we spent another 2 days doing reconnaissance around the place. I was dying for some fried Unagi. Yukiko-obasan basically kept me occupied for the past day recalling stuff from Naruto, most of which I'd already spoken about with Magoichi back in Kiri, but it was fun rehashing out most of the opinions I came to from before. Up to which time the extent to which Yukiko told me about her sharingan was that the head of the group was an Uchiha, and he died during the events, and so gave her his eyes. Tori-sensei added that she'd turned it down, muttering something about wasting chakra.

Did I ask about the massacre? Hell no. Like I want to hear about _Danzo_ when I'm trying to _infiltrate Konoha._

"You know, the 'last Uchiha'… I mean the 2nd, no wait 3rd living Uchiha."

"He means Obito," Yukiko tacked on.

".. Right." Tori paused before continuing, "We're not far now. I swear, sometimes I forget that it's warm this early in the year."

The view was pretty gorgeous over Fire Country, and I can see why too. It's like California for how much sun there is, and it was an endless vista of deep lushing green. There was a little cold draft, but it was eerily peaceful. We'd been circling the village in spots that Yuki and Tori picked and this was the last one we were going to stay at. We - or they - were just about confident enough to execute the thing.

I shuddered, _'This place is... evil. It's too nice-looking for anything but.'_

I was a little weary of executing the plan at 8am, but at least we'd have a nice view when we were all captured. I kid. It was because there might be some noise and movement from all the civilians. The sheer endless landscape from the perch was also a nice upside before we dove into the plan. I'm ignoring the horrible idea of going when there are no shadows.

I spoke up as we ate rations and bits of gathered stuff, "So let's just run over the plan again? It was somewhere in between your rants about the stupid 'Holy Log' story."

She riposted, "Yeah, Mr 'technically-Jashin'. No - Mr 'technically-Jashin-who-would-cull-the-Aburame-to-prove-a-point."

I smiled. "You can't disagree with it though. The Aburame clan is so unimportant I could kill off everyone but Shino and recreate Sasuke's story with him and his brother for kicks. And nothing would change."

"Brat," started Tori-sensei, "If you don't shut your mouth and sit down I'll cull _you_."

I sat down and grumbled in English, " _That doesn't even make sense._ "

She continued, "Anyway, the plan is that me and Yuki infiltrate, I'll talk to the self insert that I know in there, and Yuki does her business and helps me along. You stick around, sit on your hands and wait for us – and of course be on hand to help out in case of a violent extraction. This means that you'll be close, so _again_ , don't panic and just wait for us."

"Cool, business as usual then. Who is this self insert anyway?"

"He's a Hyuuga boy. I promised him years ago that I'd help him leave Konoha."

I stared at Tori. "How're you going to manage to steal from the Hyuga?"

She shushed me with her hand, "I'm not _stealing_ him. I'm leaving him a message for what to do if he wants to leave. Remember when I'd go on 'solo missions'?" I nodded. "Right, those were usually excursions to look for self inserts, and to talk to the ones that I know. I used to do it a lot before being your sensei."

My head waved a bit from that piece of information. ".. Right. So, why does he want to go?"

"He doesn't _dislike_ it, but he basically has to." After I gave her an inquisitive look she continued, "He's a year younger than Naruto, but – and a big one - they want to move him into that class because he outshines his year. And it makes more sense to – I dunno – replace Naruto with him or something."

"Poor guy, I guess."

"He actually wants the personal freedom. That's why I promised him so far back. Maybe you two should meet since I've hardly met any more of us near his age."

I shrugged in non-reply. Right, so the plan's established then. _'Only one little issue...'_

"Shouldn't you wear shades for your pink eye anyway? Surely if someone from Konoha sees a _pair of sharingan_ they might be mildly suspicious," I spoke up.

Yukiko sent me a wry look, "Ah don't fuss. They haven't changed their patrol, as the last few days have shown us. Don't get me wrong, it's really dangerous, but there is some benefit to being at least _near_ to Konoha around wartime. I'm ready for it."

We stood up together, roughly, and trekked down a bit so we could enter the forests surrounding the _flamey village_. Once we reached a parcel of land that wasn't entirely covered by trees, it seemed that we unanimously decided to 'commence mission'.

I took their lack of argument as them agreeing with my choice. It made sense to me at least. I could hide from any patrols with the outcropping behind me and while I didn't have direct line of sight, I _really_ wasn't more than a couple hundred feet from the village. _'God, I hate there being such an experience gap between us. The last few days of tips have done so little.'_

Before Yukiko had a chance to leave I glanced for any cue to not speak before saying, "Hope you don't need to use Izanagi obasan!"

She grouched, "Oh my _log_ , you were saving that one." She recomposed herself before saying, "Good luck. Watch your senses," under her breath and jumping off silently.

Tori-sensei also bid me adieu with a quick, "Stay safe brat," before zipping out of sight.

In hindsight it seemed like we only entered actual 'mission mode' when we reached this outcropping. On one hand, it kind of brought into question why we hadn't been in 'serious mode' until now – around hundred yards from the village. But on the other, I could make up the excuse that I can ignore everything simply because I'm near someone with a sharingan. I at least had more trust in their skills than my own. That was probably fairly dangerous, especially with the amount of 'don't trust anyone' that Kiri is - _wisely_ \- about. I was also getting a bit of a buzzing feeling, but that was moreso the heat than anything.

 _'God – or Kami - what am I doing here as a mediocre Genin? I must have a deathwish,'_ I thought, belatedly. At least I'd see anyone coming.

I took a deep breath and sighed from the sun dried rock I was sitting on. "Well, small sacrifices I guess."

 _'It's a good thing that the cicadas are relaxing around here.'_

 _._

* * *

.

I startled with a jolt, noticing a chakra signature coming really close. I groaned internally - cicadas seemed to unintentionally drown out noises over distances. The signature was tiny, but it wasn't dense. _'Phew, a deer or animal then probably.' I amended, 'Though I don't want to move and make myself a target to any nearby jounin either.'_

I cut my theorising for a minute. _'God - what happened to all my training? Of course there must be some jounin around here detecting me. What is Tori thinking?'_

I decided that if I was going to be fed to the proverbial lions that I'd distract myself, since there was nothing I could do bar suppress my chakra signature, redo my _haphazard_ camouflaging genjutsu and wait for the thing slowly making its way towards me. It gave me some comfort though, as it was obvious and loud while it smashed around in the bushes.

 _'Well it might not be them.. With the amount of infighting that Konoha has in the series, I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't too busy,'_ I added spitefully, _'... Well, here goes.'_

A figure emerged out from the right from a tree about 15 feet ahead, stumbling a little on a patch of flora. It turned out to be a little girl, about 8 maybe.

Except the girl had bright pink hair, an obvious parted hair style and green eyes.

My eyes widened and I gaped. _'... Sakura?'_


End file.
